It started as a simple idea.
The trolls of Norway, known for their love of rock stacking, goat stealing, and general mayhem, decided it was time for a vacation. But not just any vacation—oh no. This time, they wanted culture. They wanted adventure. They wanted… Legoland.
And so, in the dead of night, a massive troll caravan stomped its way south, crossing the border into Denmark with a deafening chorus of grunts, burps, and bridge-shaking snores. At first, the humans thought it was just a particularly intense storm. Then the reports started rolling in: trees mysteriously missing, entire barns relocated overnight, and an unusually large number of confused Danish goats found perched on rooftops.
By morning, Legoland had new guests.—Trolls and Legos: A Dangerous Combination
The trolls were immediately in love. The entire park was made of little plastic stones! It was a dream come true! Except for one problem: they thought Legos were edible.The first incident happened at Miniland, where a large fjord troll named Blørg mistook the Lego replica of Copenhagen for a delicious appetizer. He took one bite of Nyhavn, chewed thoughtfully, then spat it out in disgust.
“Bah! Not real rock! Too crunchy! Too colorful! Bleh!”
Unfortunately, his younger cousin Snørg misinterpreted this as a challenge and immediately swallowed the entire Lego version of the Royal Palace in one gulp. The Danish royal family has yet to recover from the emotional damage.—Roller Coasters and RegretsNext stop? The rides.Now, trolls aren’t exactly known for their speed. Or their agility. Or their ability to fit into human-sized roller coasters. But that didn’t stop three particularly large trolls from attempting to board The Dragon roller coaster.
The safety bars? Snapped like twigs.The first turn? The entire track bent into a pretzel.The result? Legoland’s first-ever unintended high-speed troll catapult.
One troll landed in the parking lot (luckily on a soft pile of tourist luggage). Another was flung directly into a hot dog stand, where he immediately declared himself King of Sausages and refused to leave. The third? Well, the third landed directly in the middle of a gift shop and—thinking he had finally found a proper treasure hoard—attempted to eat an entire shelf of Lego keychains.
—The Final Straw: The Lego Castle Siege
Legoland has a castle. It’s a wonderful attraction, full of knights, princesses, and fake battles. To humans, it’s a fun little fantasy.To trolls? It was an open invitation to war.The moment they saw the Lego knights, they declared battle. Large boulders (from who knows where) started flying. Trolls charged the gates, demanding the princess be handed over as tribute. It took three hours to explain to the trolls that the princess was just a mannequin made of plastic. This was deeply disappointing for them, but their sorrow was quickly replaced with glee when they discovered the “royal treasure room.”Unfortunately, “royal treasure” to a troll is any object that is shiny, stackable, or remotely interesting to sit on. Within minutes, all the Lego gold bricks were stolen, a life-sized Lego dragon had been dragged away as a “pet,” and the castle itself was in ruins because two trolls got into an argument about whether the walls would make a better hat or a better bed.
—Legoland’s Official Statement (And Plea for Help)By the time the sun set, Legoland was barely recognizable. Entire sections of the park had been either eaten, sat on, or “borrowed” by enthusiastic trolls. The gift shop had been looted (mainly of anything remotely shiny), the roller coasters were permanently tangled, and somewhere in Norway, there is now a full-sized Lego dragon living in a cave.
In an official statement, Legoland’s management has declared:> “While we appreciate the enthusiasm of our new troll visitors, we regret to announce that Legoland will now require a strict ‘No Trolls Allowed’ policy. Our insurance simply cannot handle another ‘incident’ involving a 600-pound creature and a roller coaster.
“They have also politely requested that anyone in Norway please return their Lego knights, gold bricks, and castle walls.
However, the trolls of Norway have responded with their own official statement:> “No. Finders keepers.”And thus, the legend of the Trolls’ Great Legoland Adventure will go down in history as one of the most destructive, chaotic, and utterly fantastic vacations ever taken.
And as for the trolls? They’re already planning their next trip. Disneyland, beware.
Speaking of unique adventures, you might be interested in learning more about the fascinating folklore creatures featured in our story. Don’t miss the vivid account of Trolls in Norwegian mythology. Curious about the historical skirmish sites? Immerse yourself deeper by visiting the brilliant description of Denmark’s popular tourist destination, Legoland Billund Resort. On an ending note, if you are intrigued by the trolls’ audacious excursion plans, check out the Disneyland article. It gives a captivating overview of their next potential travel destination. Finally, dollops of humor personify the Trolls’ spirit in our narrative; learn more about their peculiar indulgence, the King of Sausages tradition, which adds a touch of quirkiness to their culture.
