By Grumtusk Bloodhead, Snout-Poking Specialist in Troll Politics
Well butter my beard and call me a Gnome—those bumbling scroll-flingers over at the Human King’s Nest (they call it “The White Hut” or something) just served up state secrets to a journalist by accident. Yes, you heard that right, folks: they gave the secret recipe to their magic potions (okay, military plans) to a news-sniffing bard and then said, “Oopsie-daisy!”
Apparently, some poor soul working the royal mailbag in Humanland attached a classified parchment about the war in the Kingdom of Sandistan (or as trolls call it, Desertlandia Kaboom) to a regular press scroll like it was just yesterday’s fried moss menu. The scroll was meant to help journalists ask clever questions at a royal gathering, but instead, it came with juicy secrets about flying dragons (or “drones”) and how the humans planned to use them.
Naturally, the bard who received this tasty scroll did what any good bard would do: he shouted, “THIS IS TREASURE!” and sprinted back to his news cave.
And then? Chaos. Screaming. Royal advisors fell off their chairs. The King’s Spokes-Troll came out looking like he just sat on a hedgehog and said, “Yes, yes, this happened, but let’s all please calm down and pretend we meant to do it.
”Riiight.
They say it was “a routine mistake.” Sure, just like that time Troll Chief Snagrak “accidentally” sent me a love poem meant for his fried goat supplier. (I still have it. It’s disturbing.)
The human kingdom insists that no one will get cursed or turned into a rock over this. “It’s fine,” they say. “Totally under control.” Which, of course, is exactly what you say when things are not under control.
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Meanwhile, the rest of us trolls are left wondering: If these humans can’t keep their secret scrolls safe from bard-mail, what ELSE are they tossing around like troll dung at a wedding?So remember, kids: Don’t send your secret plans to the press unless you want the entire forest talking about it.
And to whoever delivered that scroll: Nice job, genius.
Speaking of trolls and their antics, you might be interested in understanding more about these fascinating creatures from the folklore by heading over to the Troll Wikipedia Article. Also, get a deeper insight into the concept of a scribe and how they played a crucial role in history. If you’re curious about the term “drone” mentioned in the secret scroll, check out this Wikipedia Article on Drones. Learn more about media’s role in shaping society with the Press Wikipedia Article and understand how it can sometimes lead to unforeseen slip-ups (like accidentally sending secret scrolls)! Finally, want to know more about the lore of secret recipes and magic potions? Visit the Magic (supernatural) Wikipedia Article and let yourself be swept into a world of mystique and wonder.
