In a world where humans are constantly trying to improve the planet with environmental protection, vaccines, and equality, the trolls of Norway’s deep forests have also had one of their most remarkable years ever. Here are the top ten things that happened in the troll kingdom this year:
1. Reduced Rock-Eating in Trollheimen
Thanks to a new diet trend among the trolls of Trollheimen, rock consumption has decreased by 50%. This movement, known as “Moss is More,” has led to a significant reduction in erosion and happier mountains. According to Moss-Marit, the leader of the movement, it has also resulted in better dental health among trolls.
2. New Vaccine Against Sunburn
A breakthrough in troll medicine has led to the development of a vaccine against sunburn, one of the leading causes of trolls turning into stone. This vaccine, developed by the troll witch Gro Løs, is expected to save countless trolls from the tragic fate of becoming garden decorations.
3. More Female Cave Dwellers in Leadership Positions
Although female trolls have traditionally been underrepresented in cave politics, this year has seen a record number of female cave dwellers taking leadership positions. This means more perspectives and needs are being considered when making decisions about landslides and bridge construction. Many of the most successful caves have implemented quota systems, proving that even in troll society, equality makes a difference.
4. Global Reduction in Human Intrusions
Due to recent human habits (possibly pandemic-related laziness), the number of humans wandering into troll territories has significantly decreased. This has led to fewer disturbances in daily troll life, better health, and a longer life expectancy. Trolls no longer have to deal with as many screaming tourists or selfie-taking hikers.
5. Bridge-Trolls Win Historic Court Case
In a groundbreaking legal victory, bridge-trolls have won the right to charge toll fees to anyone crossing their bridges. This decision comes after centuries of unfair “heroic” humans refusing to pay. The ruling establishes that anyone attempting to pass without payment will be subject to a legally sanctioned riddle challenge or, in extreme cases, light tossing into a river.
6. Troll Fashion Revolution – Capes Are Back!
The annual Troll Fashion Summit saw the triumphant return of capes and moss accessories. Spearheaded by fashion icon Slime-Knut, the trend focuses on sustainability, using only ethically sourced swamp moss and pre-chewed tree bark.
7. Less Goat Theft, More Goat Renting
A peaceful agreement between trolls and local goat farmers has led to the introduction of goat rentals instead of theft. Now, instead of sneaking around stealing goats, trolls can simply rent them for a small fee (usually paid in pebbles or good old-fashioned intimidation). The result? Fewer angry villagers with torches and pitchforks.
8. Competitive Rock Throwing Becomes an Official Sport
The Trolllympics committee has officially recognized competitive rock throwing as an international troll sport. This year’s world record was set by Boulder-Bjørn, who hurled a boulder so far that no one has found it yet. It is rumored to have landed somewhere in Sweden, causing mild confusion among locals.
9. The First Ever Troll Bakery Opens
For centuries, trolls have eaten only rocks, moss, and the occasional unfortunate traveler, but that has changed with the grand opening of “The Crusty Boulder”, the first-ever troll-run bakery. Signature dishes include:
- Lava Loaf – A bread so hard it doubles as a weapon
- Swamp Surprise Muffins – You’ll never guess the secret ingredient!
- Mountain Meringue – Made from actual mountain dust, giving it that crunchy texture trolls love
10. The Great Troll Debate Finally Settled
For years, trolls have argued about the most important issue of all: Are boulders better than caves, or are caves better than boulders? After months of heated debates, shouting, and a few accidental landslides, the Troll Council finally declared a tie. The official ruling? “Both are good, now shut up and go sit under a bridge.”
As the year comes to an end, it’s clear that trolls have made tremendous progress while still keeping their core traditions alive—mainly, scaring humans, throwing rocks, and arguing over completely pointless things. Here’s to another year of trollish mischief!
Speaking of the interesting events that occurred in the Troll Kingdom, you might be interested in further exploring the mysterious world of trolls. Check out this fascinating Wikipedia article about Trolls. Particularly intrigued by the “Moss is More” movement? You might want to delve deeper into the significance of moss in the environment through this informative Wikipedia page dedicated to Moss. The legal victory of bridge-trolls may have sparked your interest in mythical beings and their representation in law. You can investigate more about the fun interplay of law and myth at this Wikipedia page on Legal Fictions. And of course, if you are a fashion enthusiast, Slime-Knut’s moss fashion revolution surely caught your attention. Why not learn more about the history of fashion in the Wikipedia article on the History of Fashion Design? Lastly, the age-old debate between boulders and caves we saw in the Troll Kingdom might pique your curiosity about these amazing natural structures. You can deepen your knowledge by reading up on Boulders and Caves on Wikipedia.
