Oh, you thought snake obsession was a modern thing? Please. Long before Indiana Jones had his crippling anxiety, ancient mythologies had already perfected the art of serpent celebrity. Today we put the spotlight on two legendary snakes so big, they’re literally wrapped around the world—and eating themselves for clout. Welcome, dear readers, to this serpentine showdown between Ouroboros, eternally snacking on himself, and Jörmungandr, who decided the ocean was his personal bathtub.
Ouroboros: The OG Self-Cannibalism Influencer
Before social media influencers made self-consumption trendy (avocado toast, anyone?), Ouroboros was pioneering the ultimate in circular dieting. Dating all the way back to ancient Egypt and Greece, Ouroboros is a snake (or dragon, depending on who you ask) eternally biting its own tail. Talk about dedication—I’ve barely got the commitment to finish a Netflix series, let alone eat myself into infinity.
The symbolism behind Ouroboros is actually quite profound: rebirth, eternity, cyclical nature of life—blah, blah, blah. But let’s be real; the snake probably just realized it tasted fantastic and couldn’t stop. Ever accidentally munched on your own lip? Multiply that by eternity, and you start to understand this serpent’s dilemma. Ouroboros truly invented the hashtag #SelfLove centuries before Instagram ever existed.
And yet, I’m left wondering: Is this snake the ultimate self-sustaining snack, or just a reptilian drama queen desperate for attention? Ouroboros seems to be perpetually reminding us mere mortals that he’s "so deep," but honestly, someone just needs to tell him to stop chewing himself out. Dude, therapy exists. It’s okay to let go of your own tail sometimes.
Jörmungandr: When Snakes Go Global—Literally
Then we have Jörmungandr, the Norse serpent who clearly didn’t get the memo about portion control. Son of trickster god Loki, this snake is so massive he’s literally wrapped around the world, biting his own tail too. See a trend here? Honestly, ancient serpents seem to have a bit of a kink for self-biting. But Jörmungandr takes it to a whole new level—he’s the snake equivalent of that one guy who takes up three seats on public transport.
According to Norse mythology, when Jörmungandr releases his tail, Ragnarok kicks off—the apocalypse, end of days, finale extravaganza. Imagine the fate of the entire universe hinging on one incredibly bored snake letting go of his tail. I mean, who designed this apocalypse? Was Odin just like, "Yes, let’s make the end of the world depend entirely on whether a celestial snake gets itchy"? Solid logic, Norse gods.
But you have to admire Jörmungandr’s power moves. His nemesis is Thor, the god of thunder—not exactly someone you’d want to annoy. Yet, our world-wrapping snake does nothing but chill, calmly waiting for the universe-ending battle. He’s like that coworker who calmly sits at his desk during office chaos, sipping coffee, waiting to drop an absolute bombshell in the meeting. Legendary.
So there we have it, folks: Ouroboros and Jörmungandr, two colossal snakes who apparently found that the best snack in existence is themselves. Whether they’re symbolic representations of eternity and cyclical nature, or just attention-seeking reptiles with a penchant for eating their own tails, one thing’s for sure—ancient mythology was weirdly obsessed with snakes. Next time you’re tempted to complain about modern influencers, just remember: mythology did it first, and it did it stranger.
