In the shadowy fjords where trolls like myself dwell, we’ve long observed humans’ obsession with “streaming”—a peculiar ritual where they summon moving images and sounds through invisible waves. Once a battleground of countless platforms vying for dominance, the so-called “streaming wars” have reached their inevitable conclusion: the fattest goats have devoured the rest. Behemoths like Netflix, Max, and Disney+ now sit atop the carcasses of their competitors, having discovered that tiered subscriptions and premium pricing are the keys to their overflowing treasure hoards. These giants, much like the trolls of yore, have learned that offering exclusive content and ad-free experiences at higher prices keeps the gold flowing from the pockets of loyal humans. The cost of streaming continues to rise, tempting users with exclusive perks. ​businessinsider.com
Sony’s Shiny New Picture Boxes: A Troll’s Take
Not to be outdone in the realm of human distractions, Sony has unveiled its latest contraption: the RGB LED TV. This device boasts brighter colors and sharper images, all thanks to its use of red, green, and blue lights directly at the source. Sony’s prototype showcased better blooming control and richer hues than current mini-LED and OLED models, being able to produce 99% of the DCI-P3 color spectrum. While humans marvel at these advancements, we trolls can’t help but chuckle. After all, we’ve been enjoying the vibrant hues of the auroras and the shimmering scales of dragonfish for millennia—no fancy picture box required. ​Wired
Citigroup’s Quest for Control: Cutting the Middle-Trolls
In a move that even the most cunning of trolls can appreciate, Citigroup has decided to trim its reliance on external IT contractors, aiming to reduce dependency from 50% to 20%. Instead, they’re hiring thousands of new employees to bolster their IT controls and data governance. This shift comes after some rather embarrassing mishaps, including a $22.9 million fraud incident involving external contractors. It seems the humans have finally realized that keeping their treasures guarded by their own kin might be wiser than relying on outsiders. ​reuters.com
K-Beauty’s Second Coming: Trolls Approve of Nature’s Bounty
The realm of human beautification has seen a resurgence of interest in Korean skincare, affectionately dubbed “K-Beauty.” New brands like Anua, Biodance, and Skin1004 have revitalized the market, with major retailers expanding their K-beauty selections. These products, rich in natural ingredients like ginseng, resonate deeply with us trolls, who have long harnessed the power of the earth for our own rugged charm. It’s heartening to see humans finally embracing the wisdom of nature, even if it took them a few centuries to catch on. ​voguebusiness.com
AI, Drones, and Robots: Humans Playing Catch-Up
At the recent Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, humans showcased their latest attempts to mimic troll ingenuity. Innovations included AI applications, drones, and humanoid robots. While these creations are impressive by human standards, we trolls remain skeptical. After all, can a machine truly replicate the wit and wisdom of a thousand-year-old troll? We’ll believe it when we see it. ​en.wikipedia.org+8ft.com+8thetimes.co.uk+8
Kroger’s Bold Move: Expanding While Others Retreat
In the cutthroat world of human commerce, Kroger has announced an “aggressive plan” to open more stores in 2025, even as rivals like Walmart and Kohl’s shut locations. This move is akin to a troll staking claim to a new mountain while others retreat to their caves. Kroger’s strategy underscores the importance of physical presence in a world increasingly obsessed with the digital. Perhaps there’s hope for humans yet. ​the-sun.com
Quantum Computing’s Rollercoaster: A Troll’s Perspective
The realm of quantum computing has experienced its share of turbulence, especially after Nvidia’s CEO, Jensen Huang, questioned its practicality in the near term. This led to a sharp decline in quantum computing stocks, with significant drops observed in companies like Rigetti Computing, D-Wave Quantum, IonQ, and Quantum Computing Inc. However, the upcoming Nvidia Quantum Day on March 20 aims to clarify and promote the significance of quantum computing. While many view the technology as being in its early stages and acknowledge its high cost and the complexity of commercialization, there is optimism about its transformative potential. Some believe quantum computing could enhance AI, a field currently dominated by Nvidia’s GPUs. Ongoing partnerships, such as D-Wave’s work with Japanese Tobacco Inc. and IonQ’s collaboration with AstraZeneca, highlight current applications and future prospects. The tech and investment community continues to debate the timeline and impact of quantum computing, balancing between emerging technologies and immediate economic returns. ​investors.com
AI in Fashion: Dresses Designed by Data
Amarra, a New Jersey-based distributor of special-occasion gowns, has successfully integrated AI into its operations since 2020 to enhance efficiency and customer experience. The company uses ChatGPT to write product descriptions, reducing content creation time by 60%, and an AI-powered inventory management system that has decreased overstocking by 40%. AI tools also help analyze customer reviews and drive customer service operations by handling 70% of inquiries through chatbots. However, challenges such as balancing automation with human touch, integrating AI with existing systems, and managing biases in AI models have required continuous tweaking and staff involvement. Co-founder Kunal Madan advises other businesses to ensure good data management and start AI integration in specific, impactful areas like customer support or inventory management. ​businessinsider.com
Conclusion: The More Things Change…
As humans hurtle forward in their
