By Rokkro Musclejaw, Troll Sports Enthusiast
Hold onto your boulders, fellow trolls! In a move that reeks of desperation and a misguided attempt at glory, the New Orleans Pelicans—a human basketball team, for those blissfully unaware—have decided to venture into the untamed wilds of Australia. Their mission? To engage in a so-called “exhibition series” against the Australian NBL teams, Melbourne United and South East Melbourne Phoenix.
One can only imagine the Pelicans’ thought process: “Let’s travel across the globe to challenge teams named after mythical birds and geographical directions!” Truly, the stuff of legends.
The matches are slated for October at Melbourne’s Rod Laver Arena, a venue that, despite its impressive 14,000-seat capacity, lacks the earthy charm of a troll cave. The Pelicans have bravely pledged to bring their “full-strength side,” including their prized human, Zion Williamson. One can only hope he’s prepared for the fierce Australian wildlife—kangaroos have been known to box, after all.
Larry Kestelman, the NBL owner, expressed his desire for this to be the first of many such visits, calling it a “celebration” of Australian basketball. Because nothing says celebration like inviting outsiders to your turf to potentially embarrass your local heroes.
David Griffin, the Pelicans’ executive vice president of basketball operations, revealed that negotiations for this venture began over a decade ago. A decade! That’s longer than it takes a mountain troll to decide on breakfast. Griffin also hinted at a “deep appetite” for more Australian signings. Perhaps he believes that by consuming enough Vegemite, the Pelicans can absorb the Aussies’ basketball prowess.
In a twist that surprises no one, the Victorian government is funding this escapade but remains tight-lipped about the financial details. Maybe they’re paying in eucalyptus leaves?
While the Pelicans currently languish at 14th in the 15-team Western Conference standings, this international jaunt might just be the distraction they need. Or perhaps it’s a cunning plan to recruit kangaroos for their defensive lineup.
In any case, we trolls will watch this development with bemused interest, ready to hurl our metaphorical (and literal) stones at this spectacle.
Rokkro Musclejaw, Troll Sports Enthusiast
Speaking of basketball, you might be interested in brushing up on the rules of this international sport. Here’s a link to Wikipedia’s comprehensive guide to Basketball. Mentioned frequently in our post was the New Orleans Pelicans, a worthy contender in the American NBA. If you’re curious about their past exploits and present directives, have a look here at the New Orleans Pelicans Wikipedia page. The mention of Australia’s wildlife might have piqued your interest, especially about the boxing Kangaroos. Follow this link to learn more about Kangaroos on Wikipedia. Lastly, as the Pelicans are set to clash with the Melbourne United and South East Melbourne Phoenix teams, consider learning about the exciting Australian NBL as well. Happy reading!
