The Jotnefjell Troll family had never left Norway before. Why would they? Norway had everything a troll could want: deep caves, large boulders, and an unlimited supply of stolen goats. But one day, after overhearing a group of tourists in Oslo raving about Germany’s castles and sausages, old Grandtroll Bork decided it was time for a family vacation.
And so, with their backpacks full of moss sandwiches and a single map they couldn’t read, the Jotnefjell Trolls embarked on their grand German adventure. What followed was a series of catastrophes, misunderstandings, and a diplomatic near-disaster that German authorities still whisper about to this day.
The First Problem: Fitting in (Literally)
Upon arriving in Berlin, the first issue became apparent: trolls do not fit in human-sized buildings. The family attempted to check into a quaint little hotel, but after Bork accidentally tore the lobby door off its hinges and Aunt Grumbla got her head stuck in the staircase, they were politely asked to leave.
They settled for sleeping under a bridge, which felt more like home anyway. However, this caused concern among the local German trolls, who were not thrilled about the competition. A bridge troll turf war nearly broke out, but was resolved peacefully when both sides agreed that no one really wanted to deal with German bureaucracy over troll-related conflicts.
Oktoberfest Disaster
The next stop was Oktoberfest, a celebration of food, beer, and general merriment. Unfortunately, trolls and German beer do not mix well. Uncle Grom drank an entire barrel in one gulp and immediately declared himself the new Kaiser of Bavaria.
Cousin Slog tried to join in the traditional Bavarian dancing, but his enormous feet caused a localized earthquake, toppling three beer tents and launching a bratwurst vendor into the sky.
The family was swiftly “escorted” out of the festival by a group of very nervous-looking security guards who weren’t quite sure how to arrest a troll the size of a small barn.
A Small Incident at Neuschwanstein Castle
Determined to do some actual sightseeing, the trolls decided to visit Neuschwanstein Castle, the inspiration for many fairytales. Bork, fascinated by its turrets and towers, announced, “Finally, a house big enough for trolls!” and attempted to move in.
When the tour guide politely explained that the castle was, in fact, a historic landmark and not for sale, Bork threw a tantrum that could be heard in Austria.
In an effort to calm him down, Cousin Slog tried to distract him by suggesting they redecorate. The Jotnefjell Trolls then began gathering nearby boulders and trees to “improve” the castle’s structure.
A concerned tourist called the police, and once again, the family was politely asked to leave before an international incident could occur.
The Great Sausage Heist
The final straw came in Munich, where the trolls discovered German sausages. Norwegian cuisine is mostly fish and things found under rocks, so the Jotnefjell Trolls were delighted by the flavors of bratwurst, currywurst, and schnitzel.
Unfortunately, trolls have no concept of paying for things, so they just took every sausage they could find. When confronted by an angry butcher, Bork simply said, “In Norway, if you want a goat, you take a goat. Sausage is just a small, tasty goat.”
The German police were called, but by the time they arrived, the trolls had already eaten the evidence.
A Hasty Departure
After causing chaos across the country, the Norwegian government was contacted by German officials, politely requesting that they please take their trolls back home before the economy collapsed due to unexpected sausage shortages.
And so, the Jotnefjell Trolls returned to Norway, full of sausages, beer, and memories of a trip that Germany would never forget.
Bork, however, still insists that Neuschwanstein Castle would have looked better with a few boulders on top.
Speaking of this intriguing German adventure, you might be interested in reading more about the country’s fascinating features that attracted the Jotnefjell Trolls. Check out the Germany Wikipedia page to dive deeper into its rich history, beautiful landscapes, and culture. If the picturesque Neuschwanstein Castle caught your attention, you’d enjoy learning more about its enchanting allure and history on its Wikipedia article. And for our food enthusiasts, especially fans of German sausages, here’s the link to the German cuisine Wikipedia page where you’ll discover more about the diversity and delicious specialties that Germany has to offer. And finally, if you’re curious about the origins of our troll family, the Troll Wikipedia page is an insightful read on the mythology and folklore of these mythical creatures.
