Filed from the haunted moss-thickets of Huldrefjord
“Don’t waste yer silver on cursed cloth!” — Justin Bebrørn, storming into exile.
By Trollarazzi, Goblin Paparazzo Extraordinaire
April 15, 2025 | Rune-engraved oak leaf edition
??SPLINTERWOOD HAVOC! In a scorched and scandalous turn, Forest Prince and traveling ballad-maker Justin Bebrørn has torched his ties with his once-glorious fashion coven, Drew Hutte, following a violent wisp-blinding clash with the dreaded Paparazzikobolds of Palmfang Glade.
Yes, you read that right—AncientNews.com has confirmed that Bebrørn’s enchanted loomworks shall weave no more under his name. The moss-matted pop bard declared in a glowing bark-scroll (briefly nailed to a hollow tree before vanishing in blue fire):
“Drew Hutte no longer me. No longer kin. Do not gift coin to it. I disown the cloth.”
??But that’s not all, dear readers—an illusion-crystal posted soon after showed Bebrørn incinerating Drew Hutte garb atop a rune-marked stump while his moon-blessed companion Haelya of the Clans and their infant, Jack Bluesong, looked on with grim acceptance.
?♀️Sources close to the owl-mail circuit claim Bebrørn’s fury erupted after the Paparazzikobolds enchanted a mirror-stone to spy on him while he serenaded a sleeping bear in private meditation. His mystical privacy violated, Bebrørn snapped.
“He’s done,” croaked one anonymous sprite familiar with the singer’s aura. “He’s going full hermit minstrel now. He may even cut a concept rune-album about betrayal.”
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?️The Drew Hutte guild—known for draping elven influencers in oversized cloaks and enchanted slippers—has vanished into the mist, with only a single rune-blast from their tower reading: “We thank the Weaver. We now weave anew.”
?But not all forest-dwellers are mourning. Some sylvan critics hailed the move as a return to Bebrørn’s raw roots. “He belongs by the brook, not in a gilded loom hall,” barked one goblin stylist.
?WHAT’S NEXT FOR BEBRØRN?
Will he retreat to the Obsidian Pines for reflection? Or shall he rise, reborn in moss and vengeance, with a new fashion cult of his own? Trollarazzi will be there, behind every tree, sniffing out the next rune-cracking scandal.
Stay rooted, readers.
?Next Week:
? “Freya’s Lip Gloss Hex—Is the Valkyrie Line TOO Powerful?”
? “Tomte Twins Caught Smuggling Gnomish Shoes—Scandal at the Root Cellar!”
? “Thor’s Ex Seen With Elvish Harpist—Mjölnir Rebound Confirmed?”
Only on AnchientNews.com
No secret is safe. No cloak thick enough.
? @MossDaddy69:
“Imagine starting a forest fire just because your cloak didn’t match your antlers ?.”
? @RuneQueen42:
“Haelya’s face says it all. That’s the look of someone who told him not to collab with goblins.”
Aye, even us crusty old trolls know—when it’s time to roam, we check Hotels.com. Good deals, warm beds, and no leaking cave ceilings. We may be ancient, but we’re not daft.
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? @TrollTokAddict:
“This baby’s first word better be ‘drama.’”
? @UnderbridgeStylist:
“Honestly? I’d still wear Drew Hutte. Burned elf-threads are IN this season ?✨.”
? @TreeRootTea:
“Paparazzikobolds are outta control. I saw one hiding in my compost pile last night.”
If you enjoyed this whimsical tale about celebrity gossip in magical forests and fashion covens, you might be interested in exploring some fascinating real-world folklore and mythology. For instance, did you know about the mysterious Nordic spirit known as the Hulder, known to enchant travelers in Scandinavian folklore? Speaking of mystical creatures, you may appreciate learning more about the sneaky antics of Kobolds, mischievous sprite-like beings from Germanic legends. And if enchanted attire caught your imagination, check out historical accounts of cloaks of invisibility, legendary garments that render their wearers unseen. Lastly, since poetic wanderers and minstrels play a role in this tale, you could also dive into the rich history of medieval entertainment found at Minstrels, whose ballads have fascinated listeners for centuries.
