? Impressum ?

AncientNews.com – Trollheim’s Most Questionable News Source

Supreme Ruler & Accidental Editor-in-Chief:
Terje “Trollpen” Dahl
Currently hiding behind a desk at:
Kompetanse Utleie AS
Vålerveien 49
1597 Moss, Norway (a place with actual buildings and humans)

Magical Contact Portal:
? Email: hjelp@smartesider.no
? Crystal Ball (a.k.a. phone): +47 69 02 00 70
?️ Official Wormhole: https://trollsofnorway.store or https://smartesider.no

Troll Business ID:
Org.nr: NO 928 372 712 MVA (Summoned under Kompetanse Utleie AS)

Head of Content Responsibility (in case of angry villagers):
Terje Dahl, but please direct all complaints to the nearest mountain goat.

? UNIVERSAL DISCLAIMER (Now With Extra Bureaucracy!) ?

Legal-ish Safeguards for Humans, Trolls, and the Legally Confused

Welcome to AnchientNews.com – the only news source brave enough to report on troll uprisings, enchanted fashion disasters, and scandalous dragon divorces. Everything here is 100% fictional, 300% exaggerated, and 1000% not to be used in real-life decisions (unless you’re a goblin… and even then, we don’t recommend it).

⚖️ International Legal Notice (For Those Reading from Earth or Nearby Dimensions):

We take no responsibility for:

• Any laughter-induced snorting in public places, causing social discomfort or expulsion from quiet zones.
• Royal decree violations in the UK, such as handling a salmon suspiciously (yes, that’s a real law).
• Offending French baguettes, German wursts, or the Danish concept of “hygge.”
• Dueling in Paraguay, which is apparently still legal… if both parties are registered blood donors.
• Violations of Singaporean gum laws. We don’t provide chewing gum, but if our humor sticks to your brain, that’s on you.
• Australian witchcraft bans, in case your magical cat reads this site and turns you in.
• Italian laws prohibiting loud shoes in certain historical places. Our trolls stomp where they want.
• UAE restrictions on sarcasm. Consider yourself warned: this entire site is one long sarcastic scream.
• Canadian laws against scaring the Queen. Our trolls have loud voices. Please don’t read this near any monarchs.

? Magical Disclaimer:

• We are not responsible for spontaneous unicorn appearances, temporary loss of logic, or unintentional summoning of ex-lovers.
• No runes, potions, or cursed scrolls on this website should be consumed, interpreted literally, or used in rituals (unless supervised by an authorized necromancer).
• Any and all prophecies made herein are for entertainment purposes only. If one comes true, it was pure coincidence… or fate… or a very bored oracle.

? For the Super Serious:

• AnchientNews.com is a parody and satire site. Everything written here is fictional, humorous, and designed to make you laugh (or groan loudly and question your browser choices).
• We make no claims to truth, reason, or factual relevance. If you cite us in a court of law, PhD dissertation, or neighborhood council meeting, you’re on your own.
• AnchientNews.com is not endorsed by governments, mystical beings, fact-checkers, or your mom.

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In summary:
If you’re reading this in a country where humor is illegal, please delete your browsing history immediately and blame it on the cat. For everyone else – enjoy, laugh, and remember: life’s too short to take even troll news seriously.

We explicitly deny liability for:

• Offending wizards, influencers, or your aunt Karen.
• Violations of obscure U.S. state laws like riding a moose while under the influence (Alaska), sending pizza to someone’s house without consent (Louisiana), or tying a giraffe to a lamppost (Georgia).
• Accidental summoning of ancient spirits or awakening cursed artifacts while browsing the site.
• The use of AnchientNews.com as a source in academic papers, legal proceedings, or interdimensional treaties.

TL;DR: This site is for entertainment purposes only. If you’re looking for actual news, you’ve taken a very wrong turn. We suggest following the trail of glitter and empty mead bottles back to reality.

Copyrights & Copywrongs:
All content – including words, runes, and troll scribbles – belongs to AnchientNews.com. Don’t steal it. The trolls are watching.
If you want to reuse something, offer snacks or send a raven for permission first.