TROLLHEIM, NORWAY – Chaos erupted in the troll community this morning after reports confirmed that a human—a fully grown one, no less—broke into a well-known troll cave deep in the Norwegian wilderness. The intruder, identified only as “some guy from Oslo,” was found trembling near a pile of stolen moss and half-eaten goats, claiming he had “no idea what he was walking into.”
According to eyewitnesses (mostly very grumpy trolls who were rudely awakened), the human wandered in around midnight, possibly in search of “adventure” or “ancient secrets,” proving once and for all that humans do, in fact, lack basic survival instincts.
TROLL COMMUNITY OUTRAGED—CALLS FOR STRONGER SECURITY
In the aftermath of this extremely preventable incident, many trolls are demanding better cave security.
“We can’t just have any old human waltzing in here like he owns the place!” growled Gnarrulf the Boulder-Crusher, a long-time cave resident. “This is our home! Our sanctuary! Our… well, okay, mostly just a place where we hoard rocks and nap. BUT STILL!”
Proposals for increased security include:
✔ More aggressive guard trolls at entrances
✔ Installing giant boulders as doors (again)
✔ Hiring a human just to keep other humans out (ironic, but effective)
✔ Setting up a moat filled with angry goats (patent pending)
Some trolls, however, argue that the outrage is overblown. “Maybe we should just close the cave door and move on with our lives,” suggested Ulf the Unbothered, who was busy polishing his rock collection. “Honestly, if a human is dumb enough to walk into a cave full of trolls, he probably deserves whatever happens next.”
TROLL TROLLING: ‘HE WANTED IT’ & OTHER SARCASTIC COMMENTS
As news spread, trolls from all over Norway took to TrollNet (the underground troll gossip network) to mock the human for his poor life choices:
💬 “Oh nooo, poor little human walked into a cave full of trolls? Maybe next time, don’t go spelunking where you don’t belong?” – Grimhilde the Sarcastic
💬 “If he didn’t want to get eaten, why was he covered in that delicious ‘woodland explorer’ scent? He basically marinated himself!” – Bork the Hungry
💬 “This is just classic human entitlement. ‘Ooooh, I think I’ll go on an adventure in a troll cave today!’ No. Stay home. Read a book. Learn boundaries.” – Eldgrim the Slightly Less Angry
💬 “Natural selection at work. Let’s not interfere.” – Troll Twitter Official Statement
HUMAN SURVIVES—BUT WILL HE EVER LEARN?
Surprisingly, the human made it out alive (though slightly chewed on). He was last seen running back toward civilization, screaming something about “never hiking in Norway again.”
Meanwhile, the trolls remain divided—should they install new security measures or just let fate take its course? One thing is for sure: if humans keep making bad choices, trolls will always be here to laugh about it.
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story. Probably. Unless we forget. Or take a nap.
Speaking of troll lore, you might be interested in reading Troll (In Norse Mythology) on Wikipedia. Or, if this adventure has piqued your interest in Norway’s wilderness, why not dig deeper into Norway’s diverse wildlife. Plus, for those curious about the human’s misadventure, you might find it interesting to learn more about Hiking and its potential dangers. Moreover, if the mention of TrollNet made you intrigued about the world of internet networks, the article about Internet on Wikipedia could provide a broader perspective.
WOW, scary stuff
Haha, humans.. Leave us Trolls alone!